The Waiting Room.
What if what you’re going through right now isn’t an interruption but an invitation to stand in a supernatural waiting room with God? Would you walk into the waiting room if a warning sign on the door read, “this won’t be easy and you’ll be stripped from your comforts but in return you’ll be clothed in peace that doesn’t make sense, wisdom beyond your understanding, and joy you just can’t put words to”? Would you surrender what you’d prefer and wait?
Twenty two days - that’s how long I had to wait for my biopsy. The receptionist said I could call daily checking if there was a cancelation. At first I committed to making that daily phone call, but a funny thing happened.
“Okay, I can’t wait Lord, help me get in sooner!”. His reply?
“WAIT. And, give me that time”
I decided to pull a Gideon. “Okay God, I’ll call once and if there are no cancelations I’ll wait"."
The next day the receptionist answered the phone, and I asked. “No, I’m sorry. But keep calling back - keep trying!” I laughed to myself as I hung up. It was as if a cartoon devil sat on one shoulder telling me I needed to be stay in panic mode with fear gripping every heart beat and call daily while an angel on my other shoulder whispered softly in my ear to wait because God had something bigger planned and it would be greater than I could imagine.
Every fleshy piece of me didn’t understand why I would wait, logically it made no sense. Praying over it again and again I kept hearing, “WAIT. Give me that time”. I realized he wasn’t asking for me to give him time to do something miraculous, he can do what he wants when he wants, but instead he was handing me an invitation to surrender to HIS waiting room and stand in it with him - right next to him. He was giving me front row seats to a supernatural story and I stood there questioning every detail of it as if I could take the super out of his natural character or make sense of it.
“When I determined to load up on wisdom and examine everything taking place on earth, I realized that if you keep your eyes open day and night without even blinking, you’ll still never figure out the meaning of what God is doing on this earth. Search as hard as you like, you’re not going to make sense of it. No matter how smart you are, you won’t get to the bottom of it.”
Ecclesiastes 8:16-17
Sitting here, June 1st, 13 days after my biopsy and 35 days since my biopsy was scheduled, I understand what the waiting room was all about, well kind of. Let’s start with what I don’t know.
I don’t know why my thyroid lobes swelled so much my ears hurt.
I don’t know why a nodule formed on my right thyroid lobe and then a week later another on my left.
I don’t know why I developed a consistent dry cough once both nodules were present.
I don’t know why I had low grade fevers almost every night.
I don’t know why my blood-work showed normalcy when clearly things weren’t normal.
I don’t know why I had migraines, jaw pain, chest pain, and neck pain.
I don’t know why I couldn’t even touch my thyroid area without flinching in pain.
I don’t know why I was so tired, napping through the day, going to bed early.
I don’t know why this happened or why it felt like it came out of now where.
BUT - I do know that God took care of me - and once I surrendered my fear to him & entered His waiting room, the “I don’t know whys” seemed to not bother me any more.
A woman, whom I don’t know well, came over to clean my house & bring dinner. I told her to omit the bathroom. Three hours later the only room she cleaned was my bathroom, specifically the tub…because she felt like it’s what she needed to do. That evening I had a lymph massage where the therapist felt led to pray healing over my body. She also told me I’d need to take a hot bath that night and again three days later. I hadn’t used my dirty bath in years, but it was now clean!!! I’ve been able to take weekly detox baths for a month. This was part of my healing.
The Holy Spirit spoke to friends, groups, my pastor and encouraged them to do bold things! To pray healing over me, against cancer and against sickness. This was part of the healing I witness while sitting in His waiting room.
My symptoms going away completely after my church and pastor anointed me with oil and prayed healing, this was a part of my healing.
Each time when I had one foot hanging out of the waiting room, beginning to worry instead of waiting with the Lord in the room he had prepared for us, a text, fb message, a card, or worship music came into my inbox from someone who felt led to share. Each was extremely timely and soothing. His waiting room proved to be a safe place. This was part of the healing He had for me.
My friends trained in emotional release, coming to me because they felt led to help me release emotions stored in the throat/thyroid area (which is feeling of not being to express ones self - um, nailed it). This was a part of my emotional & spiritual healing - hopping up on His lap in HIS waiting room as he reminded me of whose daughter I was & the beautiful creative deep personality he gave me.
My husband giving me raindrop therapy for a week straight, bringing me my meals in bed, taking care of our kids, praying over me - this was a part of healing He had for me.
The meals brought to me and my family to make things a bit easier when I was in bed with fevers and after my biopsy - I saw His hands and feet at work. This was part of my healing.
The college of natural health I began to take classes at, right before I didn’t feel, was totally a gift from Him. All my professors were Naturopaths. I learned so much about thyroid health and was reminded that my body was created to heal. This was a part of my healing.
The wait. The long long long wait. I could have waited in my own worldly waiting room with giant walls of fear and worry, but God used this interruption as an invitation to HIS waiting room where he provided so much care and healing in the waiting. Sometimes I sat curled up next to him, other times across the room with uncertainty, and other times right on his lap crying. The waiting room was a supernatural spiritual space where he held me tight while here on Earth I got to experience one faithful provision after another AND his supernatural healing through the power of the Holy Spirit.
What the world hates doing is what he used to heal me - waiting. I was stripped of what felt most comfortable and normal - to not wait, to fear & be anxious - & instead I was clothed in His peace, joy, and wisdom. Yesterday I received my biopsy results. The week leading up, the night before, and the drive to the doctor I wasn’t worried, afraid, or anxious. I told a friend, “I’m so surprised right now, it’s normal for me to break out in a cold sweat with my heart beating through my chest - and I don’t feel any of those things!.” I had peace that surpassed my understanding. Sitting outside the doctor’s office, waiting for my appointment I voice messaged a friend with excitement! I was so confused by it but I was happy and excited even before I knew my results. I had joy unspeakable. I cannot explain it, but I had a knowing that it would be okay, wisdom that can only come from him.
The right nodule is benign. The left nodule is some where in the middle - the cells are abnormal but not malignant. DNA testing is being done to retrieve a percentage rate of those cells possibly turning into cancer. I feel WONDERFUL - my mind, body, & spirit. I feel alive - free - as if Jesus took my hand, walked us out of the waiting room and into a beautiful field of colorful fragrant wild flowers where we’re laughing, spinning and dancing with our arms held wide open.
